Oddly enough, one of the most common times for a man to cheat in a marriage is in the weeks and months following the birth of his first child. It seems like such an odd time to have an affair but for many men it is exactly when they do cheat on their wives for the first time. Why now? Why cheat during a time when they should be celebrating a new life together?
The Center of Your Universe Shifts
Believe it or not, for many men it comes down to the fact that your center of the universe has shifted. The moment you found out about your baby your life became focused on one thing: the child you're carrying. You begin making plans, picking out nursery furniture, and knitting baby booties. Suddenly he's no longer the center of your universe and he isn't quite ready to deal with that.
When the baby comes there is a mixed reaction of "hooray!" and "oh no!' to keep him tied in knots for quite a while to come. He loves you both but really feels out of his element at the moment.
Unfortunately, new moms are so busy and so tired that they rarely have time left (or the attention span for that matter) to notice the subtle changes in their husbands. Many never find out until it's too late.
Body Changes and a New Perspective
Another common problem that leads to affairs after the birth of a baby is the fact that many men suddenly view their wives differently. Thankfully this isn't universal but it's common enough to be problematic for many marriages.
The problem is that once you've had a baby you've become someone's mother. For some men that resemblance between you and his own mother are just too much for him to even consider touching you now that you've had his baby.
Unfortunately that doesn't change the way either of your feel about the other. He can love you very much and still cheat on you. Most men who cheat for this reason do not cheat due to lack of love. They cheat because they still have needs but are now unable to turn to you to meet those needs.
Waiting for You to Heal
No matter what the doctor says there are some times when husbands believe you just shouldn't yet be healed. Some men rush home the first opportunity while others delay and delay. He still has needs and another woman is probably ready to swoop in and offer to meet those needs for him but the bottom line is that you have his bright and sunny brand new baby so he will be coming back to you.
The fact that he doesn't want to hurt you can be endearing but it won't make the fact that he did cheat any less painful to confront. Before you make a move to try to get your ex back or save your marriage in this situation please try to see things from his point of view too.
The Center of Your Universe Shifts
Believe it or not, for many men it comes down to the fact that your center of the universe has shifted. The moment you found out about your baby your life became focused on one thing: the child you're carrying. You begin making plans, picking out nursery furniture, and knitting baby booties. Suddenly he's no longer the center of your universe and he isn't quite ready to deal with that.
When the baby comes there is a mixed reaction of "hooray!" and "oh no!' to keep him tied in knots for quite a while to come. He loves you both but really feels out of his element at the moment.
Unfortunately, new moms are so busy and so tired that they rarely have time left (or the attention span for that matter) to notice the subtle changes in their husbands. Many never find out until it's too late.
Body Changes and a New Perspective
Another common problem that leads to affairs after the birth of a baby is the fact that many men suddenly view their wives differently. Thankfully this isn't universal but it's common enough to be problematic for many marriages.
The problem is that once you've had a baby you've become someone's mother. For some men that resemblance between you and his own mother are just too much for him to even consider touching you now that you've had his baby.
Unfortunately that doesn't change the way either of your feel about the other. He can love you very much and still cheat on you. Most men who cheat for this reason do not cheat due to lack of love. They cheat because they still have needs but are now unable to turn to you to meet those needs.
Waiting for You to Heal
No matter what the doctor says there are some times when husbands believe you just shouldn't yet be healed. Some men rush home the first opportunity while others delay and delay. He still has needs and another woman is probably ready to swoop in and offer to meet those needs for him but the bottom line is that you have his bright and sunny brand new baby so he will be coming back to you.
The fact that he doesn't want to hurt you can be endearing but it won't make the fact that he did cheat any less painful to confront. Before you make a move to try to get your ex back or save your marriage in this situation please try to see things from his point of view too.
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