1) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech : "Did you install the update?"
Customer : "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech : "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer : "No..."
4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
5) Tech : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech : ##### ***
6) Tech : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech : ******_____# ###
7) Tech : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech : ////--+++
8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Tech : ??????
9). Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech : ?!%#$
10). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech : ??????
11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech : @@@@@
12). Tech : "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer : "Is that Eastern time?"
13). Tech : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech : *** -- ++++
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech : "Did you install the update?"
Customer : "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
3) Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech : "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer : "No..."
4) Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
5) Tech : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech : ##### ***
6) Tech : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech : ******_____# ###
7) Tech : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech : ////--+++
8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Tech : ??????
9). Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech : ?!%#$
10). Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech : ??????
11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech : @@@@@
12). Tech : "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer : "Is that Eastern time?"
13). Tech : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech : *** -- ++++
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