If all of us were to look back we could find at least one thing we regret experiencing, whether we were the perpetrators or someone else.
T his is what life is made up of, past experiences, some good and some bad.
However, there are some of you who take these past hurts (such as divorce or an abusive ex) to your spouse and expect them to just deal with it.
Now, every time your spouse messes up you are reminded of these hurts and you let him or her have the full length of your wrath and that you are not going to allow him or her to do the same thing to you.
Every time he or she says something, you wonder if that is the truth or if you are being lied to.
In all honesty you do not trust your spouse.
Before taking the time to rationally deal with each situation at hand you start reliving the past.
The problem with grouping everyone under the same blanket is that no two individuals are the same.
Your spouse could be the total opposite of your previous partner or parents but you are unable to see that because you continue to relive the hurts of the past.
In Ecclesiastes, Solomon tells us there is a time for everything.
There is a period after experiencing hurt that you just have to let go and move on.
It is better to do this before entering into another relationship, however, if you did not get a chance to do this and you are now married let us help you move on.
Stop and ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I really want to get a divorce or a second divorce?
This is an extremely important question because if you allow your past hurts to interfere with your marriage this is exactly what can happen.
Your spouse could become so overwhelmed and frustrated with the constant accusation or comparisons made with your previous partner that he or she decides to call it quits.
To me, my past hurts are not worth my relationship with my spouse.
What about you?
2. Have you ever thought of seeking professional help?
There are some issues that are better dealt with by professionals.
No amount of discussion with your spouse can change the current situation.
If you have tried praying and talking about it with your spouse or friends and the situation persists, then maybe you need to take it a step further.
Maybe you need the advice of a medical professional / counselor who is qualified to handle these situations.

3. Have you been honest with your spouse about the hurts you still feel?
Keeping your feelings bottled up is never the answer, especially when others are being affected by your actions.
Sometimes we think we have gotten over a particular situation, but our actions often speak louder than words.
If you feel there are still issues that need to be ironed out, take some time to discuss this with your spouse.
Ask him or her to help you deal with it as opposed to letting them feel your wrath.