Forgiveness is a powerful tool every parent should be familiar with. Blaming yourself, feeling guilty, and expecting perfection can bring tremendous stress into your life as a parent. I'd like to share some things I have learned as a parent of teenagers. I think you will find that by applying them in your own life you will see improvement in the relationship you have with your teen.
Positive discipline for teenagers can make a big difference in your life and the lives of your children. By forgiving yourself you will put yourself into a strong, more active, and less reactive position. Your relationship with your teenager can strengthen and your trust and pride in your child can grow.
Don't Blame Yourself
As a parent, it's easy to fall into the trap of blaming yourself for your child's behavior. Yes, ultimately your children are your responsibility and they can and do learn some of their behavior from you. However, this does not mean every time your teenager does something wrong you have failed as a parent. It does not mean you are a bad parent. Teenagers often make mistakes just like adults often make mistakes.
Let Go of Your Guilt
It's time to let go of any feelings of guilt you have about failing as a parent. Listen, we all make mistakes. As much as I try to be involved with and just "be there" for my kids... there are many times I could have done more. Maybe you have not gave freely of your time. Maybe you have reacted in a negative way much more often than you would have liked. It's okay. You're human too. Feeling guilty about it and "beating yourself up" over it will not do one thing to change it. In fact, feeling guilty about it can actually work against you and often such feelings can even cause a parent to feel like just giving up. Put yourself in a stronger position by letting go of your guilt now.
Accept That You Will Make Mistakes
As human beings we all make mistakes and there is nothing wrong with doing so. Many times we will fail at something in our lives and this is completely natural. In fact, failure is not the opposite of success... failure is a part of success. We learn a lot by the mistakes we make. Successes and failures can both be viewed as feedback. They are the results of our actions and attitudes. Nothing more. Nothing less. Of course, we should try to have more successes and less failures. We should definitely try not to repeat mistakes. However, there will always be some new mistake to make especially as we grow and learn new things.
Positive discipline for teenagers can make a big difference in your life and the lives of your children. By forgiving yourself you will put yourself into a strong, more active, and less reactive position. Your relationship with your teenager can strengthen and your trust and pride in your child can grow.
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