Girl bullying seems to be one of the toughest issues to tackle right now.
Girls can be very nasty with their comments, stares and physical confrontations.
In today's world, girls have become very bold and aggressive with their taunts and tormenting.
Generally we think of girl bullying starting in about the latter part of elementary school and into the middle school years.
I couldn't imagine that it would start any sooner than that, but I have found out that it does start much earlier.
Amazingly it can start as young as the age of four and even three.
A friend and I were talking today and what she said was a real eye-opener.
We were talking about her three-year-old daughter, Janet*.
Janet spends her day in someone's home instead of a daycare.
She is there with three other little girls.
The ages of the other girls are four, five and seven.
At three Janet is the youngest of all of them.
All of the girls attend a school of some sort.
The five and seven year old each attend an elementary school, the four-year-old attends pre-school three days a week and Janet attends pre-school two days a week.
Janet is frequently at the sitter's by herself while the others are at school.
One day, Janet's mother and the sitter were having a conversation and the girls' ages came up.
All of the girls happened to be there at that particular time of the day while this discussion was going on.
The girls were listening to the sitter and Janet's mother having their discussion.
Naturally, the fact that Janet was three came up and was said with all of the girls listening.
When Janet and her mother got home, Janet said to her mother, "Mommy, I didn't want you to say that I am three.
I always tell the girls that I am four.
That's what they all thought and now they know how old I really am.
" Janet's mother was very confused so she asked Janet why this was such a problem.
Janet said that she would be called a baby.
She told her mother that she was not a baby, but a big girl.
I don't believe that bullying is really going on here, but we have to remember that it is Janet's perception of what is being done or said that is important.
If she feels upset by being called a baby it could be something that will stay with her for a long time.
Her parents and the sitter need to talk with her and assure her that the term "baby" is not being said to hurt her, but is the word that the girls are using because she, Janet, is the youngest of all of the girls.
I had a hard time wrapping my brain around this sense of bullying that Janet felt.
This is why keeping the lines of communication open with our children is so important.
The most important part of the conversation needs to be that Janet's mother makes sure that Janet feels her mother understands her fear of being called a baby.
Having your feelings brushed aside as silly or wrong can be just as damaging as the perceived bullying.
This of course, leads to another topic.
We'll talk about that later.
Girls can be very nasty with their comments, stares and physical confrontations.
In today's world, girls have become very bold and aggressive with their taunts and tormenting.
Generally we think of girl bullying starting in about the latter part of elementary school and into the middle school years.
I couldn't imagine that it would start any sooner than that, but I have found out that it does start much earlier.
Amazingly it can start as young as the age of four and even three.
A friend and I were talking today and what she said was a real eye-opener.
We were talking about her three-year-old daughter, Janet*.
Janet spends her day in someone's home instead of a daycare.
She is there with three other little girls.
The ages of the other girls are four, five and seven.
At three Janet is the youngest of all of them.
All of the girls attend a school of some sort.
The five and seven year old each attend an elementary school, the four-year-old attends pre-school three days a week and Janet attends pre-school two days a week.
Janet is frequently at the sitter's by herself while the others are at school.
One day, Janet's mother and the sitter were having a conversation and the girls' ages came up.
All of the girls happened to be there at that particular time of the day while this discussion was going on.
The girls were listening to the sitter and Janet's mother having their discussion.
Naturally, the fact that Janet was three came up and was said with all of the girls listening.
When Janet and her mother got home, Janet said to her mother, "Mommy, I didn't want you to say that I am three.
I always tell the girls that I am four.
That's what they all thought and now they know how old I really am.
" Janet's mother was very confused so she asked Janet why this was such a problem.
Janet said that she would be called a baby.
She told her mother that she was not a baby, but a big girl.
I don't believe that bullying is really going on here, but we have to remember that it is Janet's perception of what is being done or said that is important.
If she feels upset by being called a baby it could be something that will stay with her for a long time.
Her parents and the sitter need to talk with her and assure her that the term "baby" is not being said to hurt her, but is the word that the girls are using because she, Janet, is the youngest of all of the girls.
I had a hard time wrapping my brain around this sense of bullying that Janet felt.
This is why keeping the lines of communication open with our children is so important.
The most important part of the conversation needs to be that Janet's mother makes sure that Janet feels her mother understands her fear of being called a baby.
Having your feelings brushed aside as silly or wrong can be just as damaging as the perceived bullying.
This of course, leads to another topic.
We'll talk about that later.
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