Before I tell you the secret to great body-language...
Let me digress for a second, and ask you something.
Ever seen someone who looked uncomfortable in their skin? Like...
they looked fake, contrived, and like they weren't being who they are? They seemed weird, stilted or out of place? There's a huge chance this person was consciously trying to control his body-language.
In fact, he might have just read a book on body-language that told him to walk this certain way, have this certain smile and talk in this kind of voice.
What tends to happen is that when you're CONSCIOUSLY trying to control your body-language, you are GUARANTEED to mess it up.
If you say "I need to smile wide when saying hello to new prospects", you actually end up having this cheesy looking fake smile.
So what's the solution? Give up on trying to control your body-language? Yes ? But seriously, the solution is to NOT control it directly...
See...
body-language is a SYMPTOM.
It's the external representation of your state, feelings, emotions and identity.
To try to come across as friendly and confident by controlling your body-language...
is like trying to cure a cold by forcing yourself to not cough...
You'll just look weird...
The real solution (believe it or not), is to actually become the person you're trying to be perceived as (imagine that)...
But worry not, you don't have to spend 20 years building your confidence before saying hello to anyone new.
In fact, there's a much simpler way...
and this is called "states".
And here's the good news, you can switch on ANY mental state at almost the flick of a button...
And the even better part? The body-language will flow out of it automatically.
If you want to learn more about states, and how to control your body-language and your conversational confidence with them, I suggest sticking around this blog, or checking out [peter Jackson affiliate link] if you're in a hurry.
Thanks for reading.
Let me digress for a second, and ask you something.
Ever seen someone who looked uncomfortable in their skin? Like...
they looked fake, contrived, and like they weren't being who they are? They seemed weird, stilted or out of place? There's a huge chance this person was consciously trying to control his body-language.
In fact, he might have just read a book on body-language that told him to walk this certain way, have this certain smile and talk in this kind of voice.
What tends to happen is that when you're CONSCIOUSLY trying to control your body-language, you are GUARANTEED to mess it up.
If you say "I need to smile wide when saying hello to new prospects", you actually end up having this cheesy looking fake smile.
So what's the solution? Give up on trying to control your body-language? Yes ? But seriously, the solution is to NOT control it directly...
See...
body-language is a SYMPTOM.
It's the external representation of your state, feelings, emotions and identity.
To try to come across as friendly and confident by controlling your body-language...
is like trying to cure a cold by forcing yourself to not cough...
You'll just look weird...
The real solution (believe it or not), is to actually become the person you're trying to be perceived as (imagine that)...
But worry not, you don't have to spend 20 years building your confidence before saying hello to anyone new.
In fact, there's a much simpler way...
and this is called "states".
And here's the good news, you can switch on ANY mental state at almost the flick of a button...
And the even better part? The body-language will flow out of it automatically.
If you want to learn more about states, and how to control your body-language and your conversational confidence with them, I suggest sticking around this blog, or checking out [peter Jackson affiliate link] if you're in a hurry.
Thanks for reading.
SHARE
