Divorce is never an easy process, especially when there are children involved.
The emotions that come into play are difficult for everyone and can be compounded when stressors like unstable finances, hidden affairs or the threat of losing one's children are added to the mix.
In fact, divorce can be an incredibly frightening and destabilizing process, threatening one's career, reputation and plans for the future.
When lawyers are added to this mix, it's a combination that is ripe to become explosive.
But it doesn't have to be this way.
In fact, many couples--even couples with children--have been able to successfully navigate the stormy waters of a divorce with their dignity, finances and even their respect for each other intact.
How is this possible? It's possible through collaborative divorce.
Collaborative divorce allows a couple to retain control of their own future, resolving the issues arising out of their separation with a team of experienced professionals.
There is no reason to "lawyer up" to see who can "win" in the settlement.
Everyone who has ever been through a litigated divorce understands that in the end, there are no "winners" or "losers" in the matter; what is left after the storm blows through are the pieces with which each spouse becomes able to start a new life.
If these pieces are completely destroyed in the divorce battle (including the innocent children who might get caught in the middle), each partner loses.
In the collaborative process, both parties have a collaboratively trained attorney with him or her every step of the way to counsel them on the most favorable course of action.
Other resources include specially trained therapists who work with the parties to help them keep the focus on what is best for the future as well as financial neutrals who collect and analyze the financial information and help develop creative solutions.
Comparing this to a litigated divorce, where a judge makes these decisions without really knowing the details of the family's life, a collaborative divorce makes more sense for everyone involved.
It's less expensive and induces less bitterness between the divorcing couple.
This is especially important if there are children involved so that the parents can work together and co-parent in the future.
The best part of a collaborative divorce is the dignity that is maintained by everyone involved.
With this dignity and communication, a couple can move forward more amicably, remaining in complete control of their present and future.