How to spoil someone on their birthday. Is it a statement? A question? Whatever it is, it's an age-old dilemma, especially for blokes. In fact, when faced with an imminent birthday or Christmas, men go one of four ways. The really good guys – the keepers – go shopping for presents for their other halves and return with brownie points solidly in the bag. These are the guys that know their partners inside out and are easily able to buy girlfriend gifts accordingly. It might be they've enhanced her wardrobe. It could be a day out somewhere. But whatever they've plumped for, they're the men who set the benchmark.
The second set of guys are the well-meaning ones, but the ones who never get it quite right. They might well plan. And they may well go out with the best intentions. But what transpires is something akin to a car crash. They buy clothes that are too big, which in turn sows the 'do you think I'm fat?' seed. It might be they pick up some CDs or music downloads, only to get the wrong stuff. Or it may just be that when it comes to buying gifts for girlfriends, they generally come up short... a naff card, unwanted jewellery or a fattening cake when she's in the middle of a diet.
Then you've got the guys who revert to something akin to blind panic. They lack the forethought of the previous two groups, so nothing is ever done in sufficient advance. They will, however, still endeavour to get her something to open on the day. As such, late-night trips to the local garage forecourt are typical. Once there, they'll buy those withered flowers you get in the black buckets out front. They'll then head inside where they'll raid the shelves for some Milk Tray or, failing that, a share-sized bag of Wine Gums or Maltesers. They'll then top it all off with a nice bottle of Blossom Hill rosé.
And last but not least, there's the group of guys – we'll call them 'lads' – who simply can't be bothered to buy their girlfriends anything. They tend to be the lads who have tattoos on their necks or the names of their family inked down the inside of their forearms – presumably in case they forget. You don't want to be one of these lads. They're societies derelicts who spend their weekends drunk. Steer clear.
The second set of guys are the well-meaning ones, but the ones who never get it quite right. They might well plan. And they may well go out with the best intentions. But what transpires is something akin to a car crash. They buy clothes that are too big, which in turn sows the 'do you think I'm fat?' seed. It might be they pick up some CDs or music downloads, only to get the wrong stuff. Or it may just be that when it comes to buying gifts for girlfriends, they generally come up short... a naff card, unwanted jewellery or a fattening cake when she's in the middle of a diet.
Then you've got the guys who revert to something akin to blind panic. They lack the forethought of the previous two groups, so nothing is ever done in sufficient advance. They will, however, still endeavour to get her something to open on the day. As such, late-night trips to the local garage forecourt are typical. Once there, they'll buy those withered flowers you get in the black buckets out front. They'll then head inside where they'll raid the shelves for some Milk Tray or, failing that, a share-sized bag of Wine Gums or Maltesers. They'll then top it all off with a nice bottle of Blossom Hill rosé.
And last but not least, there's the group of guys – we'll call them 'lads' – who simply can't be bothered to buy their girlfriends anything. They tend to be the lads who have tattoos on their necks or the names of their family inked down the inside of their forearms – presumably in case they forget. You don't want to be one of these lads. They're societies derelicts who spend their weekends drunk. Steer clear.
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