The only way you are going to be successful in any relationship is to develop the ability to control your own emotions.  That's it!  It doesn't matter what the other party is or isn't doing in terms of your own emotional state.  That's "your responsibility".  You might be thinking, "Well, that person made me mad by doing this or not doing that".  Really?  Who made you mad?  You did!

It was your response to that situation which created that anger in you.  Let me explain... If you were an outside observer without any emotional attachment or involvement with any of the parties, and you watched that situation unfold, what kind of effect would that have on your emotional state?  That's right... probably zero effect.  We do have the power to choose to be affected or unaffected, never forget that.

The trap is that, in your own personal situation, you have an emotional investment of your own making because you've already made up your mind that certain things have to happen or not happen in order for you to be happy.  You've given the other person way too much emotional power over you.  The truth is, by consciously directing your own emotions, you can still be happy regardless of what's happening.  Your emotional response to any situation will govern and determine the quality of your life and your relationships.  Life is too short to dwell on the negative emotions.  Flip the script you've been reading from and stay unaffected and nurture the positive emotions instead of the negative ones. 

Is it really necessary that every perceived "slight" be addressed?  Are your emotions that fragile?  Quit taking yourself so seriously.  Have you ever laughed at yourself later for allowing your emotions to get the better of you?  Do that now and change your emotional state.  Is it necessary that every mistake your partner makes is brought ot his or her attention?  Realize that they are dealing with their own emotions.  Come on, cut them some slack and I bet that their emotions when they are around you will be much more positive and they will want to spend more time with you.  Again, this goes right to the heart of the quality of your relationships.  Is it fun and enjoyable being around you and are people filled with the emotions of joy and happiness?  Or do people feel like it's a chore to be around you because they have to "tiptoe" around you and your emotions?  Get it?  Positive emotions foster positive relationships.  

Also, remember that we must avoid making things worse than they really are in our minds.  When we are filled with unresourceful emotions like negativity, we reflexively blow things out of proportion.  Make a conscious effort to catch yourself when the doom and gloom emotions start invading your mind like literal weeds.  When you are positive you have more clarity and see things for what they really are.  It is what it is.  When you do this from a resourceful state of mind, your emotions do not interfere and you can start seeing things better than they are.

Remember, you are in your relationships for a reason, hopefully, a good reason.  They enrich your life and your emotional life in some way.  So, if there are things which could be better that's okay.  Want to know what the first step is in changing all that?  That's right, be responsible for your own emotions and emotional responses.  Once you do that, others will take notice and, hopefully, respond in kind.  As Gandhi once said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".  That's where your influence is greatest, inside of yourself.

Once you accept that we cannot control other people, other people's emotions, or outside events, our own emotional world is filled with a quiet peace.  The only control we truly have is over our own emotions and actions and this is the true center of our own unique power.  When we have mastery over our own emotions, our power is amplified, magnified, and increased exponentially.  When you align yourself with your true center of power, you become a virtually unstoppable force and a light to others.  Your relationships are filled with more grace and fulfillment.  Negativity and ugliness fade away.

In this way, you glide more easily through the challenges of life, and, at times, you do so effortlessly.  Have a better vision for your life and relationships.  See them better than they are and be the example for what they ultimately can be.  It all starts with you and that power that resides in you... the ability to control your emotions.  Don't wait, start using that power now!