As parents, we are the most influential people in our children's lives. We have the power to affect their self-esteem with our words and actions. Constantly making your child feel worthless, ashamed, or ignored can cause irreversible damage to his or her sense of self-worth.
Many children with low self-esteem are underachievers who are easily influenced by others; they may be uncooperative and withdrawn and become easily frustrated. They are at greater risk for exhibiting self-destructive behaviors such as alcohol and drug abuse or gang-related activities.
On the other hand, children with parents and caregivers who express respect, unconditional love, and acceptance tend to love life. These children are usually confident, resourceful, responsible, and independent. "Youth who view themselves positively have a greater ability to succeed. This positive self-image, combined with hope for the future, is what will give them the strength to face the challenges of life and become successful adults" says Dr. Tom Lee, head of the Family, Consumer, and Human Development Department at Utah State University.
A child' self-esteem is dependent on you, the parents. A healthy sense of self-confidence is the most important gift a parent can give to his or her child. It is an indicator of good health and is a human being's most prized possession.
It is never too early to start building your child's self-esteem. Many experts believe that a child begins to develop a sense of self-worth at birth, and how he or she is parented during the first three years of life is crucial. "A child's future physical and intellectual development depends, in large measure, on what happens during these first few years," says Dr. Alvin N. Eden, author of Positive Parenting. High self-esteem is the key ingredient in a happy, confident child, and the sooner you plant the seeds of self-worth and unconditional love, the better.
What is self-esteem, anyway? Dr. Brian Mesinger, a pediatric psychologist, says, "Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings that we have about ourselves. How we define ourselves hugely influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors."
So what can you do to promote self-esteem in your children? The following 12 tips may help you:
1. Set realistic expectations. Help your children become responsible by setting effective expectations, limits, and rules that are fair, attainable, and age appropriate.
2. Share family values. Live your life the way you want your children to live and share with them the values you hope they will carry with them into adulthood. Find opportunities to discuss family values.
3. Lead by example. Be a positive role model. Nurture your own self-esteem. Your children learn most by watching you.
4. Allow your children to solve problems and make decisions. Give them opportunities to think for themselves, to take responsibility for their behavior, and to experience the consequences of their own choices.
5. Teach them how to deal with pressure and stress in a healthy way. Support their feelings and emotions through good times and bad, and guide them over the bumps. Teach them how to cope with failure and life's big and little stresses.
6. Emphasize their positive qualities and make them feel successful in everything they do. Make a big deal out their accomplishments-even small ones-and celebrate a job well done. Praise your children for good choices and good judgment.
7. Downplay the negatives. Never make them feel ashamed or punish them for not succeeding at something. Be proud of them for trying. Teach them that there are no failures, just learning experiences.
8. Be generous with smiles, hugs, and kisses. Be affectionate with your children on a regular basis. Tell them often that you love them and how much they mean to you.
9. Make time for your children. Play together, laugh together, and create wonderful memories that they will cherish forever. A child who is starved for attention and affection will act out in negative ways.
10. Be supportive and encouraging. Make them feel that you will always be there for them no matter what. Make sure they feel special and important.
11. Try not to compare your children with others, especially their siblings. This is not easy, but remember that every child is a unique individual with his or her own talents and challenges.
12. Create a safe, nurturing home environment. A child who is constantly exposed to physical and verbal abuse may become depressed and withdrawn and suffer from low self-esteem. Children are especially sensitive to their parents' constant arguing and fighting. Your children deserve to have parents who not only love them, but also love and respect each other.
Hopefully you already do these things to promote your children's self-esteem. But if you don't, don't be too hard on yourself. Take a closer look at your parenting style and how your children are feeling about themselves. Can you change your own behavior to help your children develop a healthy sense of self-worth? If you feel that your children's view of themselves and the world around has been damaged, don't hesitate to get them professional help.
Let's work together to help our children develop a healthy level of self-confidence so that they can lead happy and fulfilling lives. We all want that for our children.
Many children with low self-esteem are underachievers who are easily influenced by others; they may be uncooperative and withdrawn and become easily frustrated. They are at greater risk for exhibiting self-destructive behaviors such as alcohol and drug abuse or gang-related activities.
On the other hand, children with parents and caregivers who express respect, unconditional love, and acceptance tend to love life. These children are usually confident, resourceful, responsible, and independent. "Youth who view themselves positively have a greater ability to succeed. This positive self-image, combined with hope for the future, is what will give them the strength to face the challenges of life and become successful adults" says Dr. Tom Lee, head of the Family, Consumer, and Human Development Department at Utah State University.
A child' self-esteem is dependent on you, the parents. A healthy sense of self-confidence is the most important gift a parent can give to his or her child. It is an indicator of good health and is a human being's most prized possession.
It is never too early to start building your child's self-esteem. Many experts believe that a child begins to develop a sense of self-worth at birth, and how he or she is parented during the first three years of life is crucial. "A child's future physical and intellectual development depends, in large measure, on what happens during these first few years," says Dr. Alvin N. Eden, author of Positive Parenting. High self-esteem is the key ingredient in a happy, confident child, and the sooner you plant the seeds of self-worth and unconditional love, the better.
What is self-esteem, anyway? Dr. Brian Mesinger, a pediatric psychologist, says, "Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings that we have about ourselves. How we define ourselves hugely influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors."
So what can you do to promote self-esteem in your children? The following 12 tips may help you:
1. Set realistic expectations. Help your children become responsible by setting effective expectations, limits, and rules that are fair, attainable, and age appropriate.
2. Share family values. Live your life the way you want your children to live and share with them the values you hope they will carry with them into adulthood. Find opportunities to discuss family values.
3. Lead by example. Be a positive role model. Nurture your own self-esteem. Your children learn most by watching you.
4. Allow your children to solve problems and make decisions. Give them opportunities to think for themselves, to take responsibility for their behavior, and to experience the consequences of their own choices.
5. Teach them how to deal with pressure and stress in a healthy way. Support their feelings and emotions through good times and bad, and guide them over the bumps. Teach them how to cope with failure and life's big and little stresses.
6. Emphasize their positive qualities and make them feel successful in everything they do. Make a big deal out their accomplishments-even small ones-and celebrate a job well done. Praise your children for good choices and good judgment.
7. Downplay the negatives. Never make them feel ashamed or punish them for not succeeding at something. Be proud of them for trying. Teach them that there are no failures, just learning experiences.
8. Be generous with smiles, hugs, and kisses. Be affectionate with your children on a regular basis. Tell them often that you love them and how much they mean to you.
9. Make time for your children. Play together, laugh together, and create wonderful memories that they will cherish forever. A child who is starved for attention and affection will act out in negative ways.
10. Be supportive and encouraging. Make them feel that you will always be there for them no matter what. Make sure they feel special and important.
11. Try not to compare your children with others, especially their siblings. This is not easy, but remember that every child is a unique individual with his or her own talents and challenges.
12. Create a safe, nurturing home environment. A child who is constantly exposed to physical and verbal abuse may become depressed and withdrawn and suffer from low self-esteem. Children are especially sensitive to their parents' constant arguing and fighting. Your children deserve to have parents who not only love them, but also love and respect each other.
Hopefully you already do these things to promote your children's self-esteem. But if you don't, don't be too hard on yourself. Take a closer look at your parenting style and how your children are feeling about themselves. Can you change your own behavior to help your children develop a healthy sense of self-worth? If you feel that your children's view of themselves and the world around has been damaged, don't hesitate to get them professional help.
Let's work together to help our children develop a healthy level of self-confidence so that they can lead happy and fulfilling lives. We all want that for our children.
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