I've never really been much of an off-roader. I just don't like getting dirty. I'm not ashamed of that. But I do like luxury performance. So the idea of driving off-road in a vehicle that can convey you at the peak of luxury over the toughest terrain is very appealing to me. I knew, however, that I didn't have the skills to safely and effectively drive off-road without doing damage to my vehicle (or myself) at worst, or getting horribly, embarrassingly stuck at best.
So, when I was invited to attend the Land Rover School, I jumped at the opportunity.

Not only would I get a chance to build up my off-road driving chops, I would get to do it in luxury -- no camping out, no bugs, no dirt. Count me in.

Land Rover maintains three driving schools in North America: one at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, North Carolina, one at the Fairmont Le Chateau Montebello near Montreal, Canada, and the newest school in Carmel, California at the Quail Lodge Resort and Golf Club, where I attended.

Carmel is a beautiful little seaside town, famous as the home of its one-time mayor, Clint Eastwood. Located on the Monterey Peninsula, Carmel is just north of Big Sur and a few hours south of San Francisco. Area attractions include 17-Mile Drive, Cannery Row (the Steinbeck one), Fisherman's Wharf and the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Monterey County is a Mecca for golfers, with several world-class courses, including the Quail, Spyglass Hill and Pebble Beach. It's also a significant destination for automotive enthusiasts, as the home of The Quail Motor Sports Gathering, the Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance, the Monterey Historic Automobile Races and Laguna Seca International Raceway.

Monterey County has gorgeous scenery, beautiful homes, fantastic food, great wine, elegant shopping and an amazing climate. It just might be the perfect place for rich people to live on the West Coast, especially rich people who love cars.

Even in such an elegant setting, Quail Lodge stands out. With a golf course designed by Robert Muir Graves, two great restaurants -- the Covey and Edgar's -- a Wellness Center, a Spa, swimming, tennis and bocce courts, the Quail is relaxed and friendly, but definitely luxurious. It's the ideal setting for Land Rover owners, or for anyone who wants a taste of the Land Rover Experience.

The Land Rover Experience Driving School is a personalized program, with lessons and agenda set according to your needs and desires. You can drive in one of the program's fleet of Range Rovers and Land Rovers, or you can bring your own vehicle -- Land Rover or other brand. You'll be paired with a Land Rover instructor, and you can choose from several options. A one-hour, one-on-one lesson starts at $200; a two-hour Trail Session starts at $300 (up to three drivers per vehicle); and a Full-Day Experience starts at $800 (up to three drivers per vehicle). There are also corporate activities available, like Team Building, Geo-Caching and Off-Road Challenge Events (pricing varies, starting at $195 per person). Land Rover holds a special Owners' Event twice per year. The full-immersion package runs $1,895 for two people for a weekend, including two nights accommodation at Quail Lodge, meals, lessons and a 50-minute spa treatment or round of golf.

My off-road mentor was Travis Martin, the Lead Instructor for Land Rover at Quail Lodge. Accompanied by another journalist, we spent the morning hours driving a Range Rover on a specially-designed course in some wilderness on the Quail Lodge grounds. Land Rover has laid out a series of trails and obstacles that are calculated to put vehicles and drivers to the test under controlled conditions. It's a challenging course that takes you through a variety of experiences in a compressed period of time.

Travis told me that he uses the first part of the day to evaluate his students' experience and abilities so that he can tailor the rest of the day to help get the most out of their time together. We climbed hills, practiced descent with the aid of the Range Rover's electronically-aided hill descent control, explored tight turns and worked on throttle application.

Having a second driver onboard was ideal. I got to watch his technique, gain some perspective on my own mistakes and take much-needed breathers in the back seat between driving sessions.

After a full morning of lessons (and lunch), Travis gave us the choice of more skill-building or a bit of sight-seeing. We soon took off on a scenic tour of the Carmel Valley. Travis knew of a great dirt road that led through a redwood forest just South of Carmel. That drive through the tall trees will be etched in my memory forever. The Range Rover is so accomplished and comfortable on dirt roads that a challenging route was rendered placid. Neither my fellow journalist nor I regretted the choice. We had both absorbed a lot of driving information from our time with Travis during our hours on the Quail Lodge course; the scenic tour just made the day more memorable.

Owners of any brand are welcome to attend the Land Rover Experience. You can even bring your own vehicle. This is not a dirt-whomping fun camp -- it's a very eco-friendly, safety-conscious adventure. We never exceeded walking speeds off-road, which is not to say that our maneuvers didn't get the adrenaline pumping. If teetering an $80,000 vehicle on two wheels doesn't get your heart beating faster, you've got ice water in your veins. The price of entry is steep, like the price of Land Rover ownership.

If you are considering buying a Land Rover, the Land Rover Experience is the ultimate test drive. You'll know right away if you are a Land Rover person -- first of all, you won't balk at the expense. Second of all, you'll appreciate the amenities and the performance of the vehicles. It might be too upscale for your tastes, or the vehicles might be too safe, too capable to challenge your driving abilities. If so, you can always go to Camp Jeep, sleep in the dirt, and get bugs in your food.

As for me, I'll take a day of Land Rovers at the Quail Lodge, and I'll take a martini and a steak at the Covey when the day is done.

Make mine dry and rare, respectively.